Dear Journal.

If you have looked back through my blog at all, I've always been kind of stuck. I want to blog more, I want to journal; but I am shy, and very highly critical of myself. I second guess everything I say-- I straight up suck at communicating. It makes perfect sense in my head, but something gets lost in translation to my fingers/mouth!!! #mumbler. It really is plain silly.

Anyway, I've had this Q and A Journal for a long time. [My BABE of a friend Liz Hasler Williams gave it to me for a birthday one year. Thanks Lizzie :-*] I admit first off: I have been SLACKING to say the least; but I decided to commit to filling it out this year. [Rando: It seems like I only tend to write in it on odd years: 2013, 2015, 2017..] Also, Dave and I recieved the couple edition as a wedding gift, and we have LOVED filling it out so far! In fact we loved it so much that we got almost all of our "couple" friends their own book for Christmas! :)

Such a fun gift, and a great way to journal without feeling completely vulnerable. I was reading back today, and I had to stop on this page: 

It just made me smile, and validate all that I believe in. I have always said I am a firm believer in the law of attraction, and I absolutely think that everything happens for a reason. If you want to be happy, BE happy. You can be anything you want to be, and do anything you want to do if you just believe it 100%. I think the same goes the other way as well though. If you want to be jealous or mean, you will always find a reason to be. If you feel like you have bad luck, you will attract more of it. Think positive! Thoughts have mass, and mass attracts things.. Make sure you're adding good to this world and you will get nothing but good things back at you. 

 

radiation.

Do you ever catch yourself creeping on yourself? Seriously, I look back through my own Twitter, my own Facebook, my own Instagram, and I love to read back through my own blog. After all, "The only person you should be better than, is the person you were yesterday." I look back, and can't help but smile and be proud of myself. I have been trying to give myself more credit, I am pretty amazing :P. I have lived, and oh, have I learned.
Don't get me wrong, I am the ultimate creeper, after all-- that is what we have Facebook for, right?

I feel like I have been radiating sun rays out lately, or maybe it is just all that coffee... I have been carrying so much good energy, and it makes me so happy to spread the love. I freaking love my job! It makes me so happy to really bond and make sure my patient gets the best care. I love to try and help out my co-workers as much as I am able; if it makes someone else's life easier, why not? I have been trying to smile and acknowledge people by their names. I love telling my King David how much I love him, and how proud of him I am. I love kissing him every single morning! I love telling people "thank you". I love building people up, and making them feel important. I love texting my mommy. I love coffee. Pandora, SNAPCHAT. I love learning new things, being curious, and keeping my brain aroused. I just love to have a good attitude, it literally makes EVERYTHING better. I am loving ME and it feels so good!! Now I need to re-fall in love with the gym. I just need to go, I need to do!

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Anyway, update on our healthy lifestyle!!
Since January 1st, I am down 13#!! David is down 10#, and his blood pressure has dropped too! <3
We have not worked out one day, but we have significantly changed our diet! << maybe that is why I'm feelin' so good.
[P. S. I am totally still on day 15 of 30 days of Yoga! haha]

namaste loves.

Healthy Habits

Start fresh, every single day! Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest all of your energy in the positive present moment. Notice how many things you can feel, smell, see and hear.
Breathe it all in-- and breathe it all out.

Sugar is evil.
Eat whole foods as much as possible.
Consolidate and pay off debt ASAP.
Stand up for yourself!
[Optimize fertility]
CONCEIVE BELIEVE ACHIEVE
Love yourself.
If you want to get over your issues and rock your life, be grateful, look for the good and learn.
Be grateful for all you are and all that you're becoming.

"If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration." // Nokola Tesla

WINTER IS HERE!

It's accurate that they call skiing/snowboarding a rich man's sport!! It's EXPENSIVE-- the gear, the passes, shoot even the food is outrageously priced. I feel so incredibly blessed for the chance to grow up involved in this sport. [note: I am NOT a rich man-- but I make it work!] I am so glad I was able to pick up snowboarding at an older age (I skied as a kid.) I'm not going to sugar coat it; the first couple times you snowboard are the worst days of your life! It is far from fun, and your ass hurts more than it has ever hurt in your life!

But then one day, you just get it.
You can switch back and forth from healside to toeside and it is glorious.

I seriously have the biggest smile when I am riding down the mountain, and I can't help but giggle like a schoolgirl when I catch some killer powder. And to add a cherry to the cake, this day and age you can stream Pandora anywhere on the mountain!

Floating down the mountain to your favorite music is something in life you have to try at least once!!
& today, underneath it all-- I'm not even wearing a bra! #winning. #tigersblood. 

Career Chronicles

I've been doing a little reminiscing today, looking back at old photos I thought were lost. It has been a goal of mine to go back and make "yearbooks" of my life. I've been prolonging the process, because where do you start? 2016 while it is still hot and fresh in your mind? Or 2006 while you still remember some details? I have always wanted to keep a journal, but I have been terrified of being judged. So in a way, my day planners have been what I call my "Life Bibles" for the past decade. I am so happy with myself that I have used them religiously, and have kept them close.

Anyway, today I found some very old pictures of my coworkers, who have become such dear friends over the years. I wanted to post a thank you to my former boss, and friend V Fred who gave a twenty-year-old, redheaded girl a chance at her first CNA gig. When I was little I was obsessed with babies, in-fact I told people when I grew up I wanted to be an OB-GYN, not fully understanding what that entailed. When I saw a posting for labor and delivery back in 2008, I thought I'd give it a chance! I had a coupled interview with Nikki Larsen, and she was so cute, so sweet, and had experience. Vikki gave us a tour of the unit, and when we walked in the tech room, there was a full term fetal demise. I was in shock, and Nikki started bawling-- at that point I knew she got the job.
I was surprised when I received the job offer, and soon learned we both were hired on!

Throughout the eight years I worked as a scrub-tech/patient care assistant, I have met the most amazing people, and have had such incredible experiences-- both happy and very sad. I worked throughout nursing school, thinking I would have to start somewhere like med/surg or a nursing home. When graduation creeped up on me, I wished I had asked more questions, and jumped into more patient care.
I applied for jobs like crazy; positions at Primary Children's, NICU, I would have even loved to work in the OR somewhere. When I learned Labor and Delivery was hiring for the float pool, I was terrified yet excited. I held my breath and hit submit. I worked with Melanie before, and she set me up with an interview right away. I was beyond stoked to accept my dream job, one that I once thought of as impossible to get as a new grad!

This first year as a new nurse has been very rough, yet very fulfilling. It is hard to transition from a nurse's assistant, to being that responsible nurse I once called if there were problems [especially at four different hospitals.] I have had to stop being shy, self-conscious, and doubting my abilities. I know more than I think I know, and I will continue to learn new things every single shift. I absolutely love being a nurse so far. My patients are the highlight of my job. It is the best thing in the world to get to spend all day with a mom and family during such an exciting, life changing transition. Guys-- I literally help bring life into this world!!!!!! Although I have had to experience extreme trauma and grief that I never did expect in labor and delivery; I know that I am exactly where I am meant to be.

So, from the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!
Thank you V Fred, and Melanie for both of my incredible positions I have held so far. Thank you to my stellar scrub techs for your friendship, for always being so willing to help out, and for making my transition so smooth. Thank you to my fellow RN's who have answered questions after questions, given me such great advice, and setting such powerful examples for me. Thank you for all the OBs and residents that have been so patient and willing to teach me tips and tricks. Thank you to those who were there that life shaking day; for all the hugs, love and encouragement to come back to work. Huge thank you to my family at IMC who has believed in me, and help mold me into who I am today. Thank you to all the staff at LDS hospital, Riverton hospital and even Alta View hospital that have welcomed me with kindness.
I am truly honored to work for such an incredible company, and especially such an incredible team of individuals.


Had to share some of these classic pictures of my girls from the Pelvic Palace:

Mouse Ears and Magic.

Hi there! :)
Sorry, same old usual stuff: busy, busy with SCHOOL!!
I had another successful quarter, kicking ped's butt this time with an A!

I had almost two weeks off for summer, and I spend 90% on a much needed vacation.
David and I headed down to St. George on Wednesday night [6.24.2015] to start our vacation a little early. When we got there we shopped, grubbed and headed to bed early for our drive to Cali in the morning. I had to show David the incredible Jazzy Java's before we hit the road Thursday morning, and he was definitely impressed.

We had one hot, [my AC doesn't like to work on road-trips] yet smooth drive to Anaheim. Once we checked into our hotel, we walked across the street so I could show David what Downtown Disney was all about. Guys, this man gets so excited-- just like me!! It makes everything so much more magical. While we were there, we bought our Disneyland tickets & some mouse ears of course; then grabbed some dinner at ESPN and headed back to our hotel for some quality zzzs.

The next day we experienced the magic of Disneyland! David had been there only once when he was a child, so it basically was his first time. I did my research and we managed to hit everything we wanted to by the afternoon! We met up with my friend Anna and her boyfriend Tim later in the day, and they said we couldn't miss the parade and the fireworks. I am so glad we listened, that alone was worth the trip by itself!!

When our feet could no longer handle it [just before closing-- almost a sixteen hour fun filled day], we drove to our Newport beach house for some much earned sleep.
The next two days we relaxed on the beach and even did some SUPing [stand up paddle-boarding] in the pier. Monday [6.29.2015] we took a boat to Catalina Island. Dave had never been on a boat in the open ocean, [let alone never even seen a real cruise ship!] so it was very special and so much fun. Gosh, I just love that man. While in Catalina we checked out the island, and did some more SUPing and fish seeing in Lover's Cove. It was an wonderful little adventure with the whole fam.

Tuesday [6.30.2015] was a marvelous day spend at California Adventure. We rode everything we wanted to [twice even], and indulged in some lobster nachos and ice cold fulfilling brews [and more brews]. The rest of the week we lived it up as much as we could at all our favorite local by-the-beach spots. Our last night at Newport, David made the whole family a spaghetti and homemade meatball dinner. It was a smashing hit, they all loved it-- and all seven pounds of meatballs were devoured.

Friday, the last morning of the beach [7.3.2015] David and I tried to sleep in, but it was too hard when everyone was leaving. We were the last ones to check out of the empty beach house. We decided on a last breakfast at Charlies Chili one of the local favorites. After breaky we drove to Vega$ for one last night of fun. My sweet Glen got us a room at the Downtown Grand, which was right across the street from the Fremont Street Experience. We didn't have a lot of money left by the end of this long adventure, but we managed to win some cash to pay for our adult beverages. :)

Now we are home, it is kind of depressing actually. I have finished the first week of school already, and I have to remind myself that I am going to school so I can have more magical vacations like that.

I want stuff!
I want to play!
I want to travel!!

So I must work hard and study harder. Hopefully only five months and two weeks until I can start my dream journey as a Registered Nurse.

Hoppy Easter.

This Easter I spent this holy day with my incredible little family: My mom, Glen, David, Noah and his sweet girlfriend Lyndsey. 

Glen and my Mom made the best feast to celebrate, and after we played an unholy game of Cards Against Humanity. 

BEFORE: 

[Cheese plate, tossed salad, filet mignon, balsamic mushrooms, grilled asparagus, funeral potatoes (Noah's fave), roasted sweet potato, and deviled eggs.]

AFTER: 

David was beyond stoked to see the Easter bunny brought us a chocolate egg. He is so freaking adorable.

My beautiful Easter tulips from David's Mother: 

It was not our usual Easter spent with the extended fam (Grandma was out of town), and we didn't dye any eggs this year, but it was beyond perfect spending the day at home with the people I love most. 

2020

Our journal topic for this weeks clinical was:
"where do you see yourself in five years, and what steps do you need to do to get there?".

Have you stopped to think about that lately?

In five years, it will be freaking 2020!
In five years, I will be turning 31. :(
In five years I will no longer be living with my mommy.
In five years, I will be a wifey and a mommy too!
In five years, I will have an established nursing career.
In five years, I will be officially "grown up". #scary.

It got me thinking: today is the oldest you have ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again. Soak up every last moment, because life keeps on going whether you are ready to live it or not.

#bragpost

Sorry, but I have to brag for a second:

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

I love my school, and my cohort is the most awesome group of people. My classmates are all so fun and so smart! We are a very supportive and cohesive group, and I could not have done this accelerated program without them.

I LOVE my job, and my boss tho? #bestbossever! She is one incredible lady herself, let alone one incredible manager. I don't know how she manages to juggle everything on her plate. My coworkers are the shit too! I'm so lucky to have such great experience in such an amazing department. Did I mention I was rated as the number one CNA by my peers, and number two by our nurse team? #braggingrights.

My boyfriend's perfectness cannot even be described in words. He is beyond my wildest, most extrodinary dreams. I fall more in love with him every day. Every time I look at him I am impressed how handsome he is-- and that smile tho, wow. I can tell him literally anything, fart on him, and he just looks at me like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world.
Every girl needs a David.

I have the best friends, they are so supportive and way too much fun. I can't wait to be done with school so I can see more of them.

My family tho, like whoa. They are my rock. [They must be the reason I am so freaking cool too.] I love having such a tight family with such good, positive people. Plus, my cuzzies are the freaking cutest. It is so cool that I have gotten so much time to spend with my Grandma, she is such a great role model for me. Also, I don't know what I would do without my mother.

I've received a lot of compliments on my "sunshine" lately, and I can literately feel it shining out in rays. I feel so lucky and blessed every single day, and that must be where all my happiness and sunshine comes from. I am a true believer if you want to be happy -BE HAPPY.

What are you feeling especially blessed or thankful for today? If you are feeling down and out, I challenge you. Every night when you crawl in bed, think of three things you are thankful for today, and three things you want to accomplish for tomorrow.
Think happy thoughts, then sleep on them, and make the best of every day.

& F*ck cancer she did!!

My mom is beyond incredible. I am so impressed with her strength for the last few months. If I am half the woman she is when I grow up, I will have succeeded in life. I just love her more than anything, and I'm so happy she is getting better every day.

Walking into her last radiation treatment:

The radiation machine:

Ringing the celebration bell:

Her favorite techs.

Isn't she beautiful?

I'm proud to work at a hospital that delivered such excellent care, and I'm looking forward to my future in helping heal others.

Another year older [and wiser too?]

Whoa, I cannot believe I am 26 already!-- Where does the time go??
I want to be a nurse already so I can pop out some babies! -only kind of kidding..

Anyway, I think this past year has brought on some good change for me..
[Some silly little things like:]
I've gotten a new boyfriend..
a new school..
a new cell phone..
a new car..
& I've switched to night shifts, and I might never go back to days..

In the next three months of summer I am looking forward to:
California,
my best friends wedding,
and too many shifts and classes in between.

It's going to be the best year yet..
[I know, I always say that.. but it really just keeps getting better.]

So I suck at blogging...

I really, really suck at blogging. [Okay, I suck at blogging regularly]

Lately I'm in the happiest rut of my life. [Contradiction? -naaaah]
I consider myself a pretty healthy person for the most part.
I eat pretty good, and I actually enjoy working out regularly.
I am an over all pretty happy-go-lucky girl.
[Yet I will admit: I definitely drink too much..]
Having said that, there is always room for improvement.

It's true what they say about "love chub." I have fallen head over heels in love, and let me tell you..
I am the chubbiest I have been in years. [Does that mean I'm the most in love I've been too? -jk ;]
He is amazing motivation to be a better me, but better yet:
I want to be the best me I can be, for me.

With my new found drive, the help of My Fitness Pal, and a little push in the right way from Crystal skin care..
2014 is going to be MY year, and bring the best Jessi yet.

Both physically and mentally.

♥♥ Not only am I eating cleaner, greener, and working out meaner..
I want to focus on the little things that make me simply look and feel good.

Some little things like:
♥ flossing daily.
♥ keeping my face clean and clear.
♥ cutting back on caffeine, beer & HAM nights.
♥ regular hair cuts.
♥ smiling more.
♥ complaining less.
♥ waking up, and actually getting out of bed.
♥ ^ + giving myself enough time to get ready [& actually GET ready for the day.]
♥ more yoga, running, and lifting.
♥ no more breakfast taquitos or spicy noodles [well maybe just now and then ;].
♥ paying off my car. [and keeping it clean and lubed up!]
♥ actually studying and applying myself.
♥ practicing guitar diligently and regularly.
♥ being more aware of my posture.
♥ getting enough [but not too much] sleep.
♥ being a better listener and better friend.
♥ more meditating.
♥ more bubble baths.
♥ more quality time with my family.
♥ more reading.
♥ more Jessi time.
♥ less shyness.
♥ more confidence.
♥ putting money in savings rather than blowing it all.
2014: BRING IT!

Cheers to 2013

2013 is one for the books, er.. a memory box I guess.
There are 525,949 precious minutes in only 365 days.
So much can happen in that time, and last year was proof that so much did happen in that time.
Just some of my favorite moments last year were: snowboarding a lot, guitar lessons, helping brew beer, lots of camping, Idaho for the coolest [and biggest] brew fest yet, bees games, real games, tailgating, 6am body pump, some incredible weddings, not to mention some killer bachelorette parties, trail running and especially running two half marathons, Mary Poppins at Tuacahn with my Grandma, lots of Sunday Fundays, & Oktoberfest to name a few.
I saw some pretty sweet concerts: Muse in Vegas, Alice Cooper & Marilyn Manson, 311, A Lily Gray.
I've had friends finish nursing school, their bachelor program, and even a PhD.
I took TWO WEEKS OFF!I spent a week in New Port Beach with the wonderful family, and then heading straight to Lake Powell with my best friends!

Some things I didn't like so much: one crazy eye infection, completely bombing a semester, ending a relationship, working at 0700 almost every day of the week..

Have to have your downs to appreciate your ups..

Today was an emotional roller-coaster for me... Ready for the ride?

In the wee hours around 5 am I went to brush the snow off my car, THIS HAPPENS: [Very low.]

I figured a little duct-tape will hold it together until after Christmas right? [Coasting]
I meet up with my bro around 10 to take advantage of all that powder.. [High hopes]

While loading our stuff in my trunk.. THIS HAPPENS: [all-time low] 

I literately cried the whole way up the mountain.. [Can I feel any lower?]

We get to Snowbird and this sweetheart asks if I will use his tarp so it doesn't snow in my car.. #blesshisheart. [On the up?]

The snow was GREAT. [Rising..]

It was 8°, and we couldn't feel our toes, fingers, or noses.. [Plateaued.]

As I was driving home from Snowbird thinking of all the negative captions I could use to share this picture: [Falling again.]
"Well there goes my Christmas."
"Poor me."
or the chosen: "FML" & yadda yadda..

 

  Driving home, we came around the curve where you get your first peek of the entire valley, and my breath was captured...
[Like when you are at the top of the roller-coaster, slowly coasting & you can't help but feel the butterflies..]
(& not just from the fridgid breeze from my non-existent back window.)

It was definitely an eye opener.

I realized in this moment:
Yeah, this totally and completely sucks..
Yeah, it couldn't have happened at a worst time..
Yeah, it is freezing and EVERYONE is looking..
BUT:
I am so blessed to live in such a beautiful valley.
I am so blessed to even have a car. (Let alone with a working heater.)
I am so blessed with the opportunity to snowboard.
I am so blessed with an incredible family.
I am so blessed with a warm place to call home.
I am so very blessed to be alive..
& everything is going to be OK..

and the tears start to flow again..[☯]

#blessings.

Today I am extra thankful for:
1. Good health.
2. The internet. I believe it is more a blessing than a curse.
3. My youth. I wish I could be forever young, but in reality aging is one thing everyone goes through. So I'm going to live it up while I still can. :):)

#blessings.

Today I am really, especially thankful for my best friend Jenny. It's her birthday [and exactly my half birthday]. 

We've shared some awesome experiences and adventures together and throughout all these years we have stayed so close!

I appreciate her and look up to her more than she'll ever know.

She understands me better than anyone else (and even translated for me in nursery;). She makes me laugh harder than anyone I have ever met. She's my favorite person to hang out with all day, any day. She is one of the most genuine, creative, sweetest, prettiest, most spoiled girl I have ever met. She has the most awesome personality too. I am so excited I get to be a part of her life as she graduates this year, and marries her [other] soul-mate. She is such an amazing example to me, and I don't know what I would do without her.

& have I mentioned she is beyond amazing with a paint brush?

#blessings.

Three things I am very much thankful for today:
1. Music, especially musicians. Since I have started learning the guitar it has made me realize there is so much more to it than I ever knew. I am so happy there are creative people in this world that have it figured out. I will understand it some day, but for now my appreciation grows on the daily.
2. Having so many guitars around the house I am able to learn and play on. It is not a cheap hobby! I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn, and for my guitar teachers patience.
3. Concerts. It is one thing to listen to your head phones, or while driving in your car. It's entirely another to feel it throughout your body. #IloveLiveMusic. I am very blessed to have been to some amazing concerts through the years.

#blessings.

Three things I am thankful for today:
1. pizza sauce.
2. avocados.
3. pickles.

#blessings.

Three things I am thankful for today:
1. Hot baths.
2. Exercise.
3. Tomorrows.

#blessings.

Today I'm very thankful for:

1. My grandparents! I'm very blessed to have them in my life for so long. They are wonderful people and great examples for me. Not to mention my Grandma is the best cook! Another reason Sundays rock!

2. Four seasons! As much as I wish it was always summer, it's pretty cool we get to see our earth physically change. It's beautiful on so many levels.

3. Electricity. We truly live a good life..